Deserve the Greatest

Communication and Relationship Tips

Why Success with Finding the Right Person Gets Eluded: Is It Because of Me?

You want the truth or do you want something that sounds good?

Here’s what sounds really good:

  • You’re the kindest person in the world.
  • You’re the wisest.
  • You never have any arguments with anybody.
  • Other things you believe you won’t need to ever work on.

Ok, that’s enough. Let’s be real: If you were all of these things (and trust me, I do believe and want you to be all that and more), then you’d be wealthy, having the lifestyle you want and having the perfect person in your life, not to mention almost everyone who seeks that warm feeling of love would follow you, the perfect leader.

I got good news: You don’t have to be perfect. Oh, you knew that? Of course you did, because society slammed you with the idea that if you’re poor, you can never make more than a 5% income in your life so you believe you are “perfect” (aka content with who you are).

Let me not confuse you. Yes, you believe nothing can make you a better person. You are who you are and nothing will change. Therefore (and this is a stretch) you believe you’re a hotshot that deserves everything, right?

And yes, you may also believe that, despite the above, you can’t seem to make more money; perhaps even be behind on bills and rent.

[In case you are aware of the true answer, bear with me for a second and keep doing what I will mention at the end of this.]

So what’s the truth? And why does this have to do with finding the right person?

Simply put, in order to find the right person who you are looking to have intelligence, wisdom, as well as understanding, sensitivity, maturity, YOU have to be the person you’re expecting of from the person you want.

It’s that simple. But isn’t easy.

You see, most people won’t read personal development books and listen/watch inspirational and instructional audio or videos (YouTube is free, by the way) because of various reasons, like:

  • Thinking you’re perfect already (like I mentioned). Why would they need something they “think” they are an expert at?
  • Don’t have time (yeah, right).
  • What’s the point? They won’t ever need to be a better person because of [insert pessimistic thought about weight, looks, money].

Ok ok, I’m sounding harsh. But there’s hope and here it is: You can be a very kind, wise person that has a great outlook in life and a bright, financially free future. You don’t have to be perfect because you honestly don’t need to. But please aim to achieve perfection.

I hinted it already, but to be that great of a person, read personal development books. Those are those books that your negative friends would tell you, “I don’t read those self-help books. I don’t need help. I’m good just the way I am!” Yeah, ok.

The two books I recommend starting out is How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie and The Magic Of Thinking Big by Dr. David J. Schwartz, Ph.D. Yes, reading makes a difference and will help you. You may think at first that a book don’t have that much power, but you’d be surprised.

But you may not even listen to me and continue on being your same “perfect” self and expecting things to come your way. I mean, “why should I develop myself and what would be the rewards”, right?

I’ll tell you. The reason why you should aim to be a better person is because:

Success, having anything you want, will only come knocking on your door when you’ve shown him (or her. Who knows?) that your heart is ready and you’re willing to get on the right vehicle. When you are able to stop thinking from your head and feel from your heart and serve people unconditionally, that’s when you’ll reap the rewards. It starts with one person and will end with countless. That is success.

Oh…before I forget: Yes, if you do constantly work on yourself, you’ll find the love of your life who will exceed your expectations before you even know it. (And yes, you can increase any part of your life (financial, physical, spiritual, relationship) the same way.

Question: Does reading anything (that isn’t the news) make you feel more enlightened? Let me know below (no account needed).

If you’re looking for a reliable writer, email me at hairo.aguilera@gmail.com.

Why Meeting Multiple Women Is Natural; It’ll Save a LOT of Time

Today’s post will aim at all the great and intelligent men out there who are responsible for keeping the logic in the world. Good job for us. For the women reading this, rest assure that we love you and that I will definitely make a post just for you with the help of my expertise with relationships and communications. Maybe.

Today we’re both going to talk about what should be natural and what makes us uncomfortable, no thanks to  “limiting beliefs”. The person may not even have a problem with this, but it is something different that isn’t talked about often And we’ll talk about meeting multiple women. That’s right — We’re going to talk about being players (or are we?).

Before we get into this exciting topic, I’d like to explain what a lot of people mean by “following the crowd”, as this is something not a lot of guys do.

It’s Comfortable Following the Crowd

This may sound counter-intuitive for a few reasons, especially one of the reasons being that “it doesn’t feel right”. Let me tell you something: Everything doesn’t feel right when they first do something (prostate test, anyone?). It takes a lot of strength and courage to attempt something big and exciting for the first time. The good news is that if you’re usually a person who does a lot of new things, you’ll eventually do something new right now with no hesitations. However, it’s easy to think what’s done by the majority of people are the right things to do. If “everyone” eats burgers and fries, then it’s easy to think that’s absolutely okay to do it yourself. But this is the counter-intuitive part: Just because the crowd does it, doesn’t mean it’s the best way.

Don’t Hate the Player and Don’t Hate the Game

Meeting multiple women is okay; it’s perfectly fine. In fact, it’s highly recommended. And I’ll be more than happy to explain why.

First off, I would want to be one of the few men ever to reveal that women talks to multiple guys at the same time. Even date them. Almost most women, who are ready to go out there and find that one great man they want in their life, talks to different guys to see who they’d want to have a relationship with. They know it’s going to be repetitive. They may even know it’s going to be hard. That’s because they went through so many trials and errors to find out what they’re looking for, and whatever it is, isn’t easy to find. Unfortunately, some of them don’t even know what it is (the young women are the victims).

Well, guess what? If they can do it, why can’t we? We should do it more so than women, in fact.

Society is Really Judgemental

Society makes it seem like women are the choosers and men are the chasers. Nothing new, right? Well, forget that women talking to multiple men makes them “sluts”. Forget that men talking to multiple women are “players”. As you already know, society is a judgmental beast that forces us to act in a way that is “polite”. I have no problem with that except it makes men not as masculine as they should be. That’s a topic for another day.

Men should talk to multiple women. We want to find that attractive, great, kind woman that will support us in everything we do as a man and be that “cheerleader” to cheer you on in your endeavor.  Men should find different women, see how each of them are, stop talking to the ones that did something you don’t like (if it’s a problem that won’t be fixed anytime soon), and keep the few winners in your contact list. It will be repetitive. It may even be hard. But that’s why you got supporters in your life.

Again, it may feel uncomfortable, new, maybe even counter-intuitive, but remember that you shouldn’t be in the crowd. You should be in the front, leading them. It’s up to you to find out if it logically makes sense and feels natural. You got that power; use it wisely.

Also, you wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with the wrong person, whereas you could look for so much better by searching and dating different women. Without being a player (although society made that title into a bad one, it’s really not a bad thing. Yet another topic you should look forward to).

Question: Were there any times you were speaking to more than one person? Were you feeling guilty, even though you weren’t in a relationship?

If you’re looking for a reliable writer, email me at hairo.aguilera@gmail.com.

Staying on a Sinking Relationship: No Good

We all know of someone (maybe someone we were interested in) who had a relationship for over four years. Now, imagine staying in a relationship for such a long time and then just breaking up. All those years of doing almost everything together went down the drain. Such a drastic thing (you can gasp), especially if it’s for reasons involving health or the partner having to move far away. Maybe even as drastic as a person finding someone better.

I would like to talk with you about people staying in a relationship for so long and having it end all of sudden, despite the fact that the partners are mostly healthy, not going anywhere or not finding anyone better for them, among other uncontrollable, outside issues (Family, friends, etc.).

I lied about the last part: They’re pretty controllable. But anyways:

What reasons would there be for finally breaking up after being with the person for a long time? Believe it or not, any issue that causes the break-up (constant arguments, lack of sex, over-protection, etc.) was there in the very beginning. Insecurities and limiting beliefs don’t just appear out of nowhere (although it very rarely does) and causes the relationship to end. Yes, after four years (or any amount of years), chances of a person becoming insecure (constantly listening to negative information about the other partner and believing them) and having limiting beliefs (converting to not having sex anymore because you read somewhere that it’s bad) are high, but for the most part, you and/or the partner comes into a relationship equipped with negative “baggage” (no, not the ones you bring to the airport). We all carry those heavy problems in our lives and in ourselves, but some people can lighten it up more than others.

The issue that usually happens is: The person didn’t choose wisely. Yes, that’s right; the person did not do his or her homework. The cases usually are:

   1.   They didn’t look out for negative cues like their bad habits. If they did, they’d ignore it, shoving it off like it won’t happen again (yes, even picking the nose).

   2.   They didn’t read into how the other person’s previous relationships ended. Yes, past relationships are the past. However, it’s how it ended that we need to be vigilant with.

   3.   The other person doesn’t want to be touched or kiss, even after having a good time on a date, and the body language of the other person shows it.

   4.   The relationship of the other person’s family is not good. Especially with the father.

   5.   The other person releases their anger in an unhealthy way.

And many more things you can think of. These issues will pop up in a relationship. Some people are in denial and choose to stay in these relationships, like staying on a sinking ship. If the person doesn’t like anything or feels that the issues will deteriorate the relationship the person should make this harsh decision of ending it if the issues aren’t resolved.

By doing this, the person can benefit from not dealing with any unnecessary drama and be open to find someone a lot better. Can the issues be resolved in a dying relationship? It would take a lot, but hey, it’s worth a shot if the person really loves him or her. But getting into a relationship is like getting a used car: The person have a decision of getting one that’s in great shape, or one that’s in a terrible one. He or she can spend the incredible amount of time and money to make the latter one great, or enjoy life with an already great one and only deal with very few bumps on the road.

Question: What was your longest relationship? Let me know below! (No account needed)

If you’re looking for a reliable writer, email me at hairo.aguilera@gmail.com.

First Article Post: Is This The End?

Welcome to my first post. I’m going to make this really short so you can start reading my interesting, funny articles (unless I say the word drastic, then you can gasp a little).

Just want to point out and get out my system what makes me write these absurd articles. There’s just so many people that doesn’t know about the hidden challenges in relationships, communications  and plain going out to meet someone from the opposite sex, and I’m here to help with that so they’ll be less divorces, less problems and less Facebook statuses about how the other person sucks (yeah, I got some work to do). I’m going to post a whole lot about the topics of relationship and communication, among other topics, and it’s going to be deep, out of this world and never before seen (and don’t just take my word for it).

I do my best to make them short. I don’t do my best to be funny (wait for it…). The fact of the matter is, I know you have a busy life. You work, go to school,  you breathe, you eat, go on Facebook and deal with that significant other who sometimes doesn’t let you do half of those things (hope you’re still breathing).

All I ask is to sit back, click on an article that catches your quick eyes (we developed it through skimming the News Feeds on Facebook so quickly) and enjoy the show. After reading one, you are more than welcome to read another or come back another day. This page is like a home; you may come and go whenever you like and have a cup of coffee.

If you bring some, I’d like a small coffee with two sugar and skim milk. Thanks!

If you’re looking for a reliable writer, email me at hairo.aguilera@gmail.com.